[{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of magic do cows believe in?","punchline":"MOODOO.","id":254},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the scarecrow win an award?","punchline":"Because he was outstanding in his field.","id":333},{"type":"general","setup":"How many bones are in the human hand?","punchline":"A handful of them.","id":138},{"type":"programming","setup":"How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?","punchline":"Try it out on Internet Explorer","id":55},{"type":"general","setup":"Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?","punchline":"Guilty","id":105},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?","punchline":"Because they use a strongly typed language.","id":73},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the programmer always carry a pencil?","punchline":"They preferred to write in C#.","id":448},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?","punchline":"Frostbite.","id":232},{"type":"general","setup":"How much does a hipster weigh?","punchline":"An instagram.","id":144},{"type":"general","setup":"Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.","punchline":"You'll strain your eyes.","id":46},{"type":"general","setup":"I just watched a documentary about beavers.","punchline":"It was the best dam show I ever saw","id":40},{"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Cows go. \n Cows go who?","punchline":"No, cows go moo.","id":12},{"type":"general","setup":"What is a vampire's favorite fruit?","punchline":"A blood orange.","id":241},{"type":"general","setup":"What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?","punchline":"They will give you a piece of your mind.","id":237},{"type":"general","setup":"99.9% of the people are dumb!","punchline":"Fortunately I belong to the remaining 1%","id":398},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the beaver say to the tree?","punchline":"It's been nice gnawing you.","id":166},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the programmer quit his job?","punchline":"Because he didn't get arrays.","id":18},{"type":"general","setup":"How does the moon cut his hair?","punchline":"Eclipse it.","id":136},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fly without wings?","punchline":"A walk.","id":206},{"type":"general","setup":"Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?","punchline":"Because he had no guts.","id":339},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?","punchline":"Because he was a little horse","id":43},{"type":"general","setup":"How do hens stay fit?","punchline":"They always egg-cercise!","id":118},{"type":"programming","setup":"What's the best part about TCP jokes?","punchline":"I get to keep telling them until you get them.","id":363},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the developer go to therapy?","punchline":"They had too many unresolved issues.","id":444},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a suspicious looking laptop?","punchline":"Asus","id":379},{"type":"general","setup":"A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...","punchline":"I'm sorry, we don't serve food here","id":42},{"type":"general","setup":"What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?","punchline":"Well, the flag is a big plus.","id":278},{"type":"general","setup":"Why are pirates called pirates?","punchline":"Because they arrr!","id":304},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the coffee file a police report?","punchline":"It got mugged.","id":431},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?","punchline":"Cool Ranch!","id":171},{"type":"general","setup":"What's Forrest Gump's password?","punchline":"1Forrest1","id":3},{"type":"general","setup":"What's the best time to go to the dentist?","punchline":"Tooth hurty.","id":10},{"type":"general","setup":"What is a witch's favorite subject in school?","punchline":"Spelling!","id":242},{"type":"general","setup":"Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?","punchline":"The hip Doctor!","id":297},{"type":"general","setup":"I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...","punchline":"The sails are going through the roof.","id":67},{"type":"general","setup":"How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?","punchline":"A little shaken.","id":145},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?","punchline":"To prevent bat breath!","id":354},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do ducks make great detectives?","punchline":"They always quack the case.","id":347},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the opera singer go sailing?","punchline":"They wanted to hit the high Cs.","id":332},{"type":"general","setup":"What's the worst thing about ancient history class?","punchline":"The teachers tend to Babylon.","id":274},{"type":"general","setup":"What does a clock do when it's hungry?","punchline":"It goes back four seconds!","id":234},{"type":"general","setup":"When do doctors get angry?","punchline":"When they run out of patients.","id":280},{"type":"general","setup":"Ever wondered why bees hum?","punchline":"It's because they don't know the words.","id":108},{"type":"general","setup":"What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?","punchline":"It gets toad away","id":30},{"type":"general","setup":"Where did you learn to make ice cream?","punchline":"Sunday school.","id":283},{"type":"programming","setup":"What do you get when you cross a React developer with a mathematician?","punchline":"A function component.","id":412},{"type":"programming","setup":"What's the best thing about a Boolean?","punchline":"Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit.","id":15},{"type":"general","setup":"Why are oranges the smartest fruit?","punchline":"Because they are made to concentrate. ","id":303},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?","punchline":"They had a reptile dysfunction.","id":85},{"type":"general","setup":"A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, \"Wow, I've never served a weasel before. 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","id":155},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a thieving alligator?","punchline":"A crookodile!","id":451},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?","punchline":"He had a very esteemed colleague.","id":94},{"type":"general","setup":"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?","punchline":"1 or 2? 1... or 2?","id":141},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a duck that gets all A's?","punchline":"A wise quacker.","id":202},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?","punchline":"He made a grave mistake.","id":312},{"type":"general","setup":"What is the leading cause of dry skin?","punchline":"Towels","id":246},{"type":"general","setup":"How does a scientist freshen their breath?","punchline":"With experi-mints!","id":135},{"type":"general","setup":"How do you get two whales in a car?","punchline":"Start in England and drive West.","id":125},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a group of disorganized cats?","punchline":"A cat-tastrophe.","id":208},{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of tree fits in your hand?","punchline":"A palm tree!","id":257},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do birds fly south for the winter?","punchline":"Because it's too far to walk.","id":344},{"type":"programming","setup":"What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?","punchline":"Inheritance","id":16},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?","punchline":"Put it on my bill","id":29},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the programmer always mix up Halloween and Christmas?","punchline":"Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.","id":418},{"type":"general","setup":"Is there a hole in your shoe?","punchline":"No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?","id":147},{"type":"general","setup":"What animal is always at a game of cricket?","punchline":"A bat.","id":153},{"type":"general","setup":"While I was sleeping my friends decided to write math equations on me.","punchline":"You should have seen the expression on my face when I woke up.","id":402},{"type":"general","setup":"Why are “Dad Jokes” so good?","punchline":"Because the punchline is apparent.","id":375},{"type":"programming","setup":"I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.","punchline":"They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.","id":399},{"type":"general","setup":"The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.","punchline":"Thank you very much, sir.","id":387},{"type":"programming","setup":"What did the Java code say to the C code?","punchline":"You've got no class.","id":380},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?","punchline":"It ended in a tie.","id":19},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the developer go broke?","punchline":"They kept spending all their cache.","id":438},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?","punchline":"Don't look I'm changing!","id":185},{"type":"general","setup":"Well...","punchline":"That’s a deep subject.","id":64},{"type":"general","setup":"What do I look like?","punchline":"A JOKE MACHINE!?","id":188},{"type":"general","setup":"How many lips does a flower have?","punchline":"Tulips","id":8},{"type":"general","setup":"Which side of the chicken has more feathers?","punchline":"The outside.","id":295},{"type":"general","setup":"How does a dyslexic poet write?","punchline":"Inverse.","id":132},{"type":"general","setup":"Why are graveyards so noisy?","punchline":"Because of all the coffin.","id":301},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?","punchline":"To hold his pants up.","id":323},{"type":"general","setup":"What did Michael Jackson name his denim store?","punchline":"Billy Jeans!","id":159},{"type":"general","setup":"What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?","punchline":"About 5000 miles.","id":279},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?","punchline":"Because it was well armed.","id":331},{"type":"general","setup":"Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?","punchline":"Because it's a little meteor.","id":357},{"type":"general","setup":"What is a tornado's favorite game to play?","punchline":"Twister!","id":240},{"type":"general","setup":"What do ghosts call their true love?","punchline":"Their ghoul-friend","id":102},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?","punchline":"It reads \"Small medium at large.\"","id":97},{"type":"programming","setup":"Hey, wanna hear a joke?","punchline":"Parsing HTML with regex.","id":395},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?","punchline":"Dunno, they're just a bit shady.","id":352},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the coffee file a police report?","punchline":"It got mugged.","id":319},{"type":"general","setup":"Where does batman go to the bathroom?","punchline":"The batroom.","id":290},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?","punchline":"Hare spray.","id":231},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a sheep with no legs?","punchline":"A cloud.","id":215},{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of shoes does a thief wear?","punchline":"Sneakers","id":9},{"type":"general","setup":"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.","id":139},{"type":"general","setup":"What's the best thing about Switzerland?","punchline":"I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.","id":426},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a bee that lives in America?","punchline":"A USB.","id":192},{"type":"general","setup":"What is the tallest building in the world?","punchline":"The library, it’s got the most stories!","id":248},{"type":"general","setup":"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?","punchline":"Ten-tickles!","id":143},{"type":"general","setup":"How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?","punchline":"You use a pumpkin patch.","id":123},{"type":"general","setup":"Where do young cows eat lunch?","punchline":"In the calf-ateria.","id":289},{"type":"general","setup":"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"Let's go ride bikes!","id":140},{"type":"general","setup":"What is the least spoken language in the world?","punchline":"Sign Language","id":247},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?","punchline":"A metro-gnome","id":204},{"type":"general","setup":"How do you find Will Smith in the snow?","punchline":"Look for fresh prints.","id":121},{"type":"general","setup":"Do you know what the word 'was' was initially?","punchline":"Before was was was was was is.","id":36},{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?","punchline":"A Fermilabrador Retriever.","id":253},{"type":"general","setup":"What does the mermaid wear to math class?","punchline":"Algae-bra.","id":393},{"type":"general","setup":"Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?","punchline":"Because then it'd be a foot!","id":308},{"type":"general","setup":"Why is seven bigger than nine?","punchline":"Because seven ate nine.","id":377},{"type":"programming","setup":"A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.","punchline":"Bartender says, \"here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!\"","id":368},{"type":"general","setup":"Why does Superman get invited to dinners?","punchline":"Because he is a Supperhero.","id":360},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the cowboy have a weiner dog?","punchline":"Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.","id":322},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the house go to the doctor?","punchline":"It was having window panes.","id":326},{"type":"dad","setup":"Why don't eggs tell jokes?","punchline":"Because they would crack each other up.","id":384},{"type":"general","setup":"Why is peter pan always flying?","punchline":"Because he neverlands","id":54},{"type":"general","setup":"Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?","punchline":"They're really good at it.","id":180},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the dog say to the two trees?","punchline":"Bark bark.","id":170},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a dictionary on drugs?","punchline":"High definition.","id":199},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a pile of cats?","punchline":"A Meowtain.","id":214},{"type":"general","setup":"Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel.","punchline":"You can only use a low ha.","id":403},{"type":"general","setup":"I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’","punchline":"I couldn’t turn it down.","id":370},{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?","punchline":"A stega-snore-us.","id":252},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call sad coffee?","punchline":"Despresso.","id":61},{"type":"general","setup":"Why didn’t the orange win the race?","punchline":"It ran out of juice.","id":338},{"type":"programming","setup":"To understand what recursion is...","punchline":"You must first understand what recursion is","id":27},{"type":"general","setup":"If you boil a clown...","punchline":"Do you get a laughing stock?","id":44},{"type":"general","setup":"Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?","punchline":"The baa-baa shop.","id":287},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you give to a lemon in need?","punchline":"Lemonaid.","id":74},{"type":"general","setup":"I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much...","punchline":"It was a soft drink.","id":68},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you watch the new comic book movie?","punchline":"It was very graphic!","id":66},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear the news?","punchline":"FedEx and UPS are merging. 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It's pointless.","id":11},{"type":"general","setup":"What was a more important invention than the first telephone?","punchline":"The second one.","id":262},{"type":"general","setup":"How do you get a baby alien to sleep?","punchline":"You rocket.","id":124},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the cookie cry?","punchline":"Because his mother was a wafer so long","id":320},{"type":"general","setup":"Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?","punchline":"No, I got them all cut.","id":76},{"type":"general","setup":"What do vegetarian zombies eat?","punchline":"Grrrrrainnnnnssss.","id":190},{"type":"general","setup":"What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?","punchline":"I don't know and I don't care.","id":244},{"type":"general","setup":"Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?","punchline":"The stock market.","id":106},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?","punchline":"A maybe.","id":372},{"type":"general","setup":"Is the pool safe for diving?","punchline":"It deep ends.","id":146},{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of music do welders like?","punchline":"Heavy metal.","id":374},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do bees have sticky hair?","punchline":"Because they use honey combs!","id":342},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fat psychic?","punchline":"A four-chin teller.","id":205},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a factory that sells passable products?","punchline":"A satisfactory","id":49},{"type":"general","setup":"Why does Waldo only wear stripes?","punchline":"Because he doesn't want to be spotted.","id":388},{"type":"programming","setup":"The punchline often arrives before the set-up.","punchline":"Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?","id":72},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a pig that knows karate?","punchline":"A pork chop!","id":212},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why don't React developers like nature?","punchline":"They prefer the virtual DOM.","id":411},{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?","punchline":"In case he got a hole in one.","id":433},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fake noodle?","punchline":"An impasta.","id":203},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?","punchline":"It was legend dairy.","id":65},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti?","punchline":"Pasta la vista, baby!","id":148},{"type":"programming","setup":"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"None that's a hardware problem","id":24},{"type":"general","setup":"How does a French skeleton say hello?","punchline":"Bone-jour.","id":133},{"type":"general","setup":"When does a joke become a dad joke?","punchline":"When it becomes apparent.","id":281},{"type":"general","setup":"Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?","punchline":"Because it was rated arrr!","id":310},{"type":"general","setup":"Why does Waldo only wear stripes?","punchline":"Because he doesn't want to be spotted.","id":361},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call cheese by itself?","punchline":"Provolone.","id":222},{"type":"programming","setup":"Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?","punchline":"Random Dude: [...💘]","id":58},{"type":"general","setup":"What is the hardest part about sky diving?","punchline":"The ground.","id":245},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a singing Laptop?","punchline":"A Dell","id":7},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do bees hum?","punchline":"Because they don't know the words.","id":343},{"type":"programming","setup":"How do you comfort a designer?","punchline":"You give them some space... between the elements.","id":439},{"type":"programming","setup":"Knock-knock.","punchline":"A race condition. Who is there?","id":362},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the developer break up with their keyboard?","punchline":"It just wasn't their type anymore.","id":447},{"type":"general","setup":"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?","punchline":"At the bottom! ","id":293},{"type":"general","setup":"Want to hear a joke about construction?","punchline":"Nah, I'm still working on it.","id":151},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the judge say to the dentist?","punchline":"Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?","id":174},{"type":"general","setup":"What did the scarf say to the hat?","punchline":"You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.","id":183},{"type":"general","setup":"How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?","punchline":"You will see one later and one in a while.","id":131},{"type":"programming","setup":"What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?","punchline":"Inheritance.","id":371},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?","punchline":"Talonted!","id":219},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you give a sick lemon?","punchline":"Lemonaid.","id":233},{"type":"general","setup":"What is this movie about?","punchline":"It is about 2 hours long.","id":249},{"type":"general","setup":"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?","punchline":"Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.","id":80},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?","punchline":"Just in case you get a hole in one.","id":104},{"type":"general","setup":"Why are football stadiums so cool?","punchline":"Because every seat has a fan in it.","id":404},{"type":"general","setup":"How can you tell a vampire has a cold?","punchline":"They start coffin.","id":113},{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the programmer bring a ladder to work?","punchline":"They heard the code needed to be debugged from a higher level.","id":441},{"type":"general","setup":"What has ears but cannot hear?","punchline":"A field of corn.","id":238},{"type":"general","setup":"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?","punchline":"Because they're so good at it.","id":355},{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?","punchline":"Now we just have to call him Dav.","id":96},{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call corn that joins the army?","punchline":"Kernel.","id":223}]